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If someone is in immediate danger — skip this and call now
911
Was This Abuse?
"I'm not sure if what happened counts."
It counts if it hurt you. But here are some questions that can help you understand your experience.
Think about the situation. Answer honestly.
What this may mean
Was It My Fault?
Your mind may be telling you things that aren't true.
Tap each thought you've had. We'll respond to each one.
What was done to you was the offender's choice. No version of your behavior makes someone else's crime your fault.
What To Do After It Happens
You may not know what to do first. That's okay.
Follow these steps in order if you can. But there is no wrong way to start.
⚠ Try not to shower, change clothes, or delete messages before speaking to someone. These can be important evidence — but your safety comes first.
Healthy vs. Unsafe Relationships
What does a dangerous relationship actually look like?
Unsafe relationships often feel normal — or even special — at first.
✓ Healthy
✗ Unsafe
Respects your "no"
Makes you feel guilty for saying no
Encourages your other relationships
Tries to isolate you from friends & family
Trust builds slowly over time
Intense closeness happens very fast
Never asks you to keep secrets
"This is just between us"
Gives without expecting anything back
Gifts or favors come with conditions
You feel free to be yourself
You adjust your behavior to avoid their reactions
You can talk to other trusted adults
They say others "won't understand" or "aren't on your side"
Disagreements are handled calmly
Arguments involve threats or emotional outbursts
Your feelings and limits are respected
Your discomfort is dismissed or minimized
Even if some items in the "unsafe" column feel familiar — that doesn't mean you're trapped. Recognizing the pattern is the first step.
Things Abusers Say
Recognizing the words used to manipulate
Tap each phrase to see why it's dangerous.
Helping a Friend
Your friend just told you something difficult.
How you respond in this moment matters more than you realize.
✓ Things to say
✗ Things to avoid
Next steps for you as a supporter
You don't have to fix this alone. Encourage your friend to speak with a trusted adult or counselor — and offer to go with them. You can also call a hotline on their behalf.
1-800-422-4453 — National Child Abuse Hotline · 24/7 · Free
For Parents, Leaders & Educators
Your role in protecting children starts before anything happens
Use the tabs below to navigate each area of the guide.